Well its D Day today, we are all packed up and ready sitting at Heathrow airport awaiting our flight to Bangkok. The time has finally arrived. We have successfully quit our jobs, sold our flat, sold all our possessions and said goodbye to family and friends. There is no more planning or talking about it we now actually have to do it.
Right now sat here im feeling pretty good. Not to emotional or anxious but i do have this creeping feeling inside of me that i still haven't fully accepted what we are about to embark on. The size and severity of this enormous adventure has not yet sunk in........maybe this is normal. Maybe i have sold everything and said all these goodbyes without actually fully accepting and realising what all that entails. I feel as though i have missed something, or missing something. Im sure this is all normal after all it is life changing and any change this big will undoubtedly bring about emotions and feelings i have not anticipated. How can i? i have never done this before?
All that being said (or wrote to be more precise) i dont have any doubts. Im fully expecting to have down moments and im not going to allow those feelings to take control and dictate my actions. Im excited about what me and Abi are going to see, smell, eat and do. I know this is what i want and not knowing my future or having any possessions (apart from whats in my backpack) is quite liberating and the feeling of freedom is growing each day. The world is a glorious and beautigfu place........and we are about to see first hand what it has to offer.
Ive said goodbye to great friends and my lovely family. You will all be missed greatly. But this isnt forever and we will be back :-)
I love you all very much.
Skype soon xxxxxxx
Ok so late news is better than no news, Monday we got the call that the flat shall be officially sold and exchanged etc on Thursday the 22nd! that has left us two days to clear everything out, clean the flat book our flights and say our goodbyes......EEEEEEK!
That's obviously a very short amount of time and with Christmas approaching flights are now double what we would have paid in November. That said we do have the option of spending Christmas here. We really need to decide and quick. Still I like the pressure and the fact we have these options is nice. But it's more the emotional side that I'm battling with, I'm excited and nervous and all that but I feel the surges of sadness about leaving my family and friends and my flat. The reality of what we are about to embark on is creeping in and apprehension and anxiety is kicking me in the gut hard. Every time I stop packing for a minute to drink or eat something I feel the nerves start chattering through my body...."Don't stop" "There's so much to do" "the spare room needs packing" it's exhausting. I'm finding it hard to keep the feelings of excitement up when there's so much to do.
So thanks for reading, we are setting off within a week or two and I'll update you as to when and where.
Thanks again Matt
Hey all, so while there is still no date yet (which is very annoying) i do know we are sooooo close as the buyers solicitors ave asked them for a date so we have talked to each other and come up with the 13th. As the days go by it seems that's too close so im thinking hopefully around the 19th or 22nd or something. But it all depends on the solicitors and when they close for Christmas etc. Im getting very anxious and frustrated and cant book the flights or start moving stuff out of the flat until we get that date. Im jut stuck in limbo and all the time concerned its not going to be completed until January which would be a disaster financially. I cant sleep and i cant shake this feeling of dread.
Leaving work early was a risk and i know that, yet it was a necessity to get all the family visits vaccinations and planning etc done int time before leaving. It will all be ok im sure.
On happier news we have just got back from Amsterdam and it was amazing. Ive been once before and wasn't impressed with the vibe. I found it edgy and everyone seemed to be moody and unfriendly.
"I dont know what you want? but you can buy it and leave" that was the welcome these three guys received in one cafe upon entry. The look of shock embarrassment and confusion on their faces made me feel so sorry for them. They left apologising for seemingly nothing and i left shortly after.
But this time was a much better experience. The staff were friendly and the very first Coffee shop made me feel like this was going to be different and i relaxed instantly. The City itself was alive and bustling until late in the evening. And you always feel safe walking around, even in the middle of the red light district which is were our Hostel was. Which again was fantastic. Clean cheap and close to the centre of town. Theres always lots to do and places to explore even if you dont have any money to spend.
It was also great spending time with my brother Josh and his mrs Kellie. Great company and they showed me ad Abi how to use the trams! Thank you for coming out and spending time with us!
Hopefully the next post will be about dates. Fingers crossed.
Thanks for reading.